For families and caregivers, one of the more surprising moments in dementia care is when a loved one starts speaking as if they’re living in a different time. They might ask if their long-deceased parents are coming over, insist they need to go pick up their young children, or talk about going to work at a job they retired from decades ago.
At first, it can feel jarring, sad—or even confusing. But these moments are windows into their emotional world.
At Ideal Caregivers 4U, we often remind families: what matters most isn’t correcting their facts—it’s connecting with their feelings.
Why Does This Happen?
Dementia often affects short-term memory first, while long-term memories from decades ago can remain vivid. As brain function declines, the past can feel safer or more real than the present.
To them, those memories aren’t distant—they’re happening now.
Correcting or arguing (“Mom, Grandpa passed away 20 years ago”) can:
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Cause emotional distress
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Trigger anxiety or grief
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Lead to agitation or withdrawal
Common Scenarios
Here are a few real-world examples caregivers encounter:
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“I have to pick up the kids from school.”
Their mind may be returning to a time when they were a parent of young children. -
“I need to call my mother.”
They might be feeling vulnerable and want comfort. -
“I’m late for work!”
This could signal restlessness or a need for routine.
How to Respond with Compassion
Instead of correcting, validate their feelings and redirect their focus gently.
1. Acknowledge the Emotion
Try:
“That sounds important. Tell me more about your work.”
“You were always such a great mom.”
“You really loved your parents—what was your mother like?”
This encourages connection rather than confusion.
2. Offer Gentle Reassurance
Say:
“Everything is okay. You’re safe here with me.”
“The kids are fine and being looked after.”
“There’s no rush—we have time today.”
Reassurance helps reduce fear or urgency.
3. Redirect with Purpose
After acknowledging their emotion, offer a gentle shift:
“Let’s have some tea while we wait.”
“Why don’t we look at this photo album together?”
“Would you help me fold these towels?”
The goal isn’t to dismiss—but to soothe.
Remember: It’s About Emotional Truth
In dementia care, facts matter less than feelings.
To your loved one, their words reflect a reality that feels very real to them. When we honor their truth—without confrontation—we preserve dignity and build trust.
At Ideal Caregivers 4U, We Teach Connection Over Correction
Our caregivers are trained to recognize these moments not as “errors,” but as emotional invitations. We meet seniors where they are—with warmth, patience, and respect.
Whether your loved one is in Ottawa, Mississauga, Markham, or Edmonton—we’re here to help you navigate these tender moments with compassion.
